70-Year-Old Has Intimacy Concerns
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have not been on the dating scene for years, but I recently put myself out there. I am a young 70-year-old, and I met a man who is in his late 50s. We hit it off and like each other a lot. We do have a problem, though. We attempted to get intimate, and it was uncomfortable and painful. It was awkward, but we still had a nice time. I'm not sure what to do. I don't want this to be a deal-breaker. I've heard that the body changes down there, but I didn't know it changed that much. What can I do, and what should I say to him? I don't want to avoid intimacy. -- Uncomfortable
DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Schedule a visit with your gynecologist. You may have vaginal atrophy, which is a condition triggered by menopause, caused by diminished estrogen production that leads to dryness, irritation and sometimes painful sex. There are treatments that you can use to help make it more comfortable or even possible to have a sex life. Get medical help.
What you can tell him is that you are tending to it. Meanwhile, you can also try lubrication. Depending upon the state of your body, that may make it possible for you to have intercourse. Or take your time enjoying each other without full penetration.
DEAR HARRIETTE: The past year has been challenging mentally. I experienced lows that felt lower than ever, but I am proud of myself for pushing through it. I have struggled with anxiety in the past; however, it has definitely gotten worse recently and has started to feel debilitating. I started therapy, which has helped, but I am still having panic attacks, and there are days that I feel out of control. I have tried additional support, like aromatherapy and walking. Although they have helped, I do not think there is a single fix. I am always looking to add tools to my toolbox. I've been looking into somatic therapy, but I haven't been able to find a somatic therapist in my network. What recommendations would you make for dealing with anxiety? -- Anxious
DEAR ANXIOUS: You may want to see a psychiatrist. I know many people who have had success taking medicine to help balance their systems. That combined with somatic therapy could be a winning combination.
Some have also had success with consistent physical exercise and creative expression. Join a gym, a yoga class or Pilates. Take regular walks. Consider taking an art, music or dance class. Keep your mind active.
Surrounding yourself with good company is also very important. Look at the people in your life. Notice how many naysayers there are. Do your best to weed out the people who stir the pot. Replace them with problem solvers and people who know how to love you without judgment. Do your best not to isolate. Find your people and spend time with them. Stop yourself when you start complaining in your head and to others. Practice active positivity.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2026, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2026 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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